I have a difficult time sharing myself with people sometimes. I've learned the hard way, that when the things you believe and feel are different from those around you, they tend to be openly critical, attacking and judgmental.
I don't really care what the people I don't know think. However, I DO care what friends, family and those close to me think. I care what they think about me, and it's painful when those that are supposed to care for you turn on you, simply because you were...different.
The result of these experiences is that unless I feel there's an open, non-critical, non-judgmental floor, I will clam up tighter than a miser's purse about what I think or feel about something. Because of some recent conversations though, I'm willing to stand here, on my semi-anonymous blog and just say it all out. I can't say it out there, in real life. But I CAN say it here.
Most of my beliefs tend to be rather nebulous. I have ideas, but I don't always know the labels for these ideas. Privately, I refer to myself as Christo-eclectic. I grew up in a loosely Christian home, and I have built from that foundation.
Some people feel that the Bible is the Word of God and should be taken literally. I'm not one of those people. I feel the Bible was Divinely inspired, but it was also filtered through the viewpoint of the men who transcribed it. It was also decided by a council of men what books should be considered to be part of the Bible. I don't feel those men had anyone but their own best interests at heart.
Therefore, I think while it contains some good ideas, I'm not going to swallow it hook, line and sinker.
I've got some Celtic, Native American, Pagan and Shamanistic beliefs blended in as well. Some may feel that those can't be blended in with Christian beliefs, because of the involvement of other gods. I call bull. Whatever you call your god, is just the name of one facet of the gem that is God.
I'm more open to sharing my beliefs about religion than I am about my beliefs about love and marraige. People are a little more open to religious differences these days, but not so much when it comes to the Sacred Institution of Marraige.
I am already feeling the beginnings of an anxiety attack beginning by just offering to state my opinion on that subject. So, Dear Reader, I am going to pause here, gather my courage, and write a second blog installment on that topic here in the very near future. I know you'll hold me to it.
