For Chewie

About a year and a half ago, a friend of mine recieved the most PRESHUS PUPPY EVAR, as a reconciliation gift from her ex. Given the space limitation of her living arrangements, she had to give him back. Due to his demanding work schedule, the puppy ended up with.... us.

And so it began. My hubby was in LURV with this puppy in a big way, which I thought was funny. This big, tough construction worker cooing and fussing over a little poodle. To me, he was cute, but yet another mouth to feed.

But at some point along the way, he became part of the family, and he also became mine. He and my son housebroke/toilet trained at the same time. They both had "accidents" around the house. Sometimes I could figure out which one was responsible, sometimes I couldn't. Either way, it was more shit to clean up, literally. LOL

He chewed on EVERYTHING. Leave a pencil out, you'd find wood chips in the floor. Barbies became horribly mangled and disfigured. My kids would go nuts to find that certain toys they forgot to put away would end up as chew toys. But Chewie taught them if you care about something, you need to put it up when you're done with it.

He'd bark endlessly for no reason, in the middle of the night.  I called it his game of "Protecting the Lady and the Manor".  I woke up countless mornings by having my fingers nibbled on, because he wanted to go outside.  Sometimes he would be hot on my heels, acting as if he'd want to go outside, and when I'd open the door, he'd just stand there and look at me. As if I were missing something.

When my husband started his new job, having to leave home for long stretches of time, Chewie became my bed buddy. Life became a little less lonely with his quirky, but reliable presence.

Anyone with even the slightest bit of foresight can guess what's coming.

Poor little Chewie was hit by a truck this weekend. It was a pure accident. The driver told us what happened. Chewie was playing with a neighborhood dog, they were running one way, and Chewie changed his mind and ran another way, which happened to be straight in front of his truck. I like to think though that Chewie was doing one of the things he loved best (besides chewing), when he passed on. Getting to play.

It was hard telling the kids. My son is too young to really understand. My daughter, who is beginning to grasp the concept of death, reacted calmly at first, but then retreated to her room and locked the door. She didn't want me in there, and came out about 30 minutes later with a red face. I let them look at Chewie, and later that day, a neighbor helped me dig Chewie's grave.

I feel like I'm over-reacting sometimes, and that people are getting bored with hearing me piss and moan about it. But I really did love this dog. He was part of the family, even if only briefly. It hurts that he's gone.

Just that morning, I was pondering on clipping his fur, and giving him a bath. He was gone before I ever got the chance to. Just that morning, I'd fed him, but hadn't eaten yet, hoping I'd slip him something better into his dog dish. The food was still sitting there, un-eaten, this morning. His bowl still full of water. I picked them up and washed them. Perhaps I'll put them up somewhere later.  To think that the day started out typically enough, and by that evening, he was in a hole in the ground.

I'm still stepping over his dog toys in the living room. I still look beside the bed first thing in the morning, to make sure I won't step on him when I get up. I still expect to be jumped on when I get home. I still expect to hear barking, and the house is too quiet. I still expect him to lay on me, cat-like, in the most obnoxious and uncomfortable way ever, to get attention.

Besides missing him, his death is also a very unpleasant reminder that all things die. I can kid myself all I want, but perhaps the last conversation I had with my husband, could very well be the LAST conversation I'll ever have with my husband. That one friend who has a chronic health condition may last another 20-25 years. The past 10 seems to have flown by quickly enough and I realize that's not much time. That one friend who likes to party may take the wrong thing.  That some depressed school shooter on a rampage may walk from the high school to the elementary school and kill a bunch of kindergartners -- including mine -- in some sadistic shooting spree. That my mother is getting older, and how many Thanksgivings and Christmases do we have left together, anyways?

So many lovely, depressing topics to ponder on. But I digress.

Goodbye, my pretty poodle puppy. I'll miss you.

I've been Memed!

I saw this on a blog I follow, and decided to post my own!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.  Michelangelo, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Shaquille O'Neal. I always go overboard.

2. Where was your first kiss? At my eighth grade Sweetheart Dance. My date was in 9th grade and snuck in, and I rewarded him for his effort.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? No.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? All the time. I grew up with two brothers, and a bunch of guy friends. It was always a slug-fest.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?  It would depend on your definition of large. I've done karaoke many times, with possible around 30+ people in the room. Arenas? Stadiums? Ampitheaters? No.

6. What's the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Whether they've got that twinkle in their eye.

7. What really turns you off? Being patronised, disrespected or disregarded because of my gender.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? I've never been to a Starbucks, actually.

9. What is  your biggest mistake? Incidents where I emotionally hurt someone I love dearly.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Not that I can think of.

11. Say something totally random about yourself.  I love steak.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Once someone told me I looked a little like Brooke Shields, but I think it was mainly because we shared the same hairstyle.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Yes. Mostly because I have two children, but some I truly do enjoy and would watch regardless.

14. Did you have braces? Yes. Soon as all my permanent teeth came in, the orthodontist slapped braces on them.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? For the most part. I'm tall for a girl, but I'm the shortest person in my family, which makes me wish for just an inch or two more in height.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? My hubby has done so many thoughtful things for me, it would be impossible to list them all. But I'd have to say, his proposal was fantastic.

17.  When do you know it's love?  When you can pee in front of each other.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I speak the dialects of Redneck and Hillbilly fluently, and can say a smattering of phrases in German and Spanish.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? I have tanned before, on a very infrequent basis. I haven't in over 6 years though.

20. What magazines do you read? KODT mag, Psychology Today, Good News, Gothic Beauty, trashy tabloids

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Not in a long time. My dad passed away when I was a kid, and I had some grandparents I really loved pass away close to 10 years ago.

23. Do you watch MTV? On occasion, if I happen to be someplace that has cable or satellite (I have none), and they actually happen to be playing music videos.

24. What's something that really annoys you? Narrow-minded or close-minded people. It bugs me to no end that so many people are unwilling to place themselves in another person's shoes to get a glimpse of their perspective.

25.  What's something you really like? Singing. I'm not great at it, but if I were unable to sing, it would leave a gaping hole in my life.

26. Do you like Micheal Jackson? I liked him when he was a good-looking black fella, but when he became a creepy, white woman, child molester, I checked out.

27.  Can you dance? I can do the Carlton, some bellydancing, some club dancing.

28. What's the latest you've ever stayed up? When a younger friend of mine keep me out till 6 a.m. I just don't have her stamina. At 2 a.m., I have to find a bed.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance to the emergency room? No.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Yes.