Catching up

It's been a while since I've done any sort of update. So here's the lowdown.

The Hubster is still working away. The pay is unpredictable at best, and he's considering taking a similar position with a different company. The positive things would be a more predictable (and slightly better) income, and having him home a little more often.  The cons are the insurance isn't too great. He could probably get hired on the spot, we're just trying to build a little financial cushion before he switches.

I'm still a pseudo-single parent. I'm getting better at this, actually. I like having only myself to answer to, and not having to run every single little decision through someone else. It's nice being the boss, except for the times I really NEED a second opinion, and for whatever reason am unable to to reach my hubby.

The downsides to being the primary caretaker are the facts the kids still miss their daddy, and he's better at instilling morals, character and discipline than I am. So when the kids are acting like bratty heathens in a store, I know it's MY fault. Being the parent 24/7 ensures there are going to be times when I'm too tired or emotionally exhausted for disciplinary follow-through. It shows in their behavior. I really need to be stricter and less laissez-faire, but I'm so low-energy and wrung out I just let it go.



The kids will be starting school in about a week, and that gives me about 2 months daily alone time until my school starts. I'm excited to finally get some time to myself. This past month has been hell. I contracted a case of shingles. It took about a week before I realized it wasn't poison ivy and sought treatment for it, so it took longer to get cleared up than it should. Then both kids developed chicken pox from being exposed to shingles.

Between my misery and their illnesses, we'd been pretty much cooped up and quarantined for a month. We've driven each other crazy. So believe me when I say I can't wait for school to start.

I also can't wait for my school to start. I'll be learning massage therapy, but I'll be soaking up some New Age-y stuff in the process. And meeting New Age-y sorts of people. I welcome this as an opportunity to start showing my eclectic/New Age-y side to others.

I'm tired of hiding some of the parts of who I am. It's nice having people like you, but it's miserable when you realize a good many of them wouldn't like you if they knew ALL of you, instead of the side you show them. "This is one little facet of the gem that I am, hope you like it," and knowing that if they saw the whole gem they'd find it flawed.

I'll probably lose some friends and the like and appreciation of some family once the walls start tumbling down. But like a new friend of mine espouses, "Those who matter won't mind, and the ones who mind don't matter."

That's all for now. More to come later.

Kindergarten Orientation

Today was Kindergarten Orientation day for my daughter. She was happy and surprised with the treat bag in her cubby, but has been less than enchanted as of this point.

She clung to my leg and hid behind me when we entered the classroom. She didn't play with any of the kids, not even the ones she had gone to preschool with the previous year. She kept telling me she wanted to go home. In fact, the only things that interested her were the lollipop in her treat bag, and the little nature walk next to the school. (Actually, that impressed me too! I love our school district!)

But yet, but yet -- progress. I think back to this time last year, when we attended preschool orientation. The teacher and her daddy had to pry my screaming, sobbing daughter off me to stay in the room with the other kids, while I did paperwork. I was shaken and felt like a terrible mother. What was I doing to my baby? How long has she been crying? Maybe I should keep her home another year and skip out on preschool altogether?

Now, I have a predictably nervous, anxious student waiting to go back to school. Oh, don't get me wrong -- the next few weeks will be rough. I predict lots of talking back and tantrums. But I'm growing ever more impressed with my maturing daughter.